FINE GAEL FUERHER'S EUROPEAN ID CARD - Who's Your Daddy ?

You may download his manifesto "Twilight Over England" here:
http://www.archive.org/details/TwilightOverEngland


Lord Haw Haw Raised in Galway beside Mayo, see link;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Joyce

The following is Paddy Murphy's premonition of an average afternoon when Fine Gael's Fuerher gets elected and the last commoners of the Irish scums state, not carrying a shiny new Euro ID card and a few dozen Protestant dissidents leading dogs on a bit of twine and hanging around Free Derry whining about freedom and sovereignty.

[Scene 1 ..The Post Office. When: In the not-too-distant future under Fine Gael Fuerher...]

Paddy: Heil, I'd like to renew my car tax.
Post Office: Certainly Herr Citizen. Would you care to speed things up by using your shiny Euro identity card?

Paddy: Ahem yes, that would seem to be a feckin fine idea.
PO: Let me just rub it on my jumper and swipe it... Herr. Murphy... Is
this the tax on the clapped-out Astra?
Joe: Yes.
PO: Bit of trouble with the MOT this time I see. Jaysus that wasn't
cheap! Still, at least the speeding points come off your licence in December , that's something to look forward to. Bloody hell, that Judge really hammered you didn't he? Probably took exception to that membership of Amnesty Internationals back in your student days. Six months or twelve?
Paddy: I was only in it for four months...
PO: Not according to this. Actually, I meant the car tax.
Paddy: Oh right. Twelve.
PO: How would you like to pay?
Paddy: IMF, all the other banks are bankrupt !
PO: No, you're up to your limit on that, what about the Euro One
Card?
Paddy: I don't have one.
PO: Says here you do... oh hang on... no the bloke using that is in
Cork at the moment buying DVD players. He's run up quite a bill for
you there a chara. Try the IMF card.
Paddy: Here you go.
PO: No, something wrong here, won't let me complete the transaction.
Let's have a look... ah... yes... your RTE licence has expired. Are you
going to pay that too?
Paddy: Well, I thought I would leave it till next month.
PO: On your head be it. Do you want some Euros while we're at it? Two
weeks in Marbella, ha, you lucky devil. I see you're flying KLM. Good
choice.
Paddy: Er, yes I'll do that now. Give me 500 in mixed notes.
PO: It'll have to be 200 I'm afraid. The car tax has taken a bite out
of your funds and your monthly ID card purchase fee direct debit is due
out of the account tomorrow. Right, there you go. Have a nice day sir.


Tesco checkout
Paddy: Heil !, can you sell me a one-month travel insurance policy?
Tesco: Yes Herr, let me have your ID card... Thanks. Do you have any
current health problems?
Paddy: No, nothing.
Tesco: You sure, Herr Murphy?
Paddy: Yes, why?
Tesco: Well it says here you were at the doctor's last week.
Paddy: Oh, that was nothing serious.
Tesco: Let me just... Oh yes, touch of the old Farmer Giles... No that
wont be a problem. Probably sitting on cheap charter flight seats
that's to blame. I see you're going KLM this time around,
though. Very wise. Oops, pressed the wrong button. [Picture of Paddy Murphy's
hideously empiled anus appears on every plasma screen in the shop,
accompanied by name, address, telephone number and email address].
Old lady in queue: Oooh they look sore, Paddy. Have you tried Anusol?
Tesco: I see your car had a bit of a struggle with the MOT. Garage not
keen on republicans?
Paddy: Can we just do the travel insurance, and these frozen peas?
Tesco: Peas? Shall I just check that don't have a genetic
predisposition to pea allergy? It'll only take a minute to scan your genome... I
understand. You're in a bit of a hurry. Very good sir. Next please.

At the Bank
Paddy: Heil !, I’d like to open a deposit account please.
Bank Clerk: Can I see your ID?
Paddy: Do I have to?
BC: Yes. It will speed things up and prevent identity theft while
ensuring that only those entitled to state benefits receive them. And it
will prevent all forms of terrorism, everywhere, for ever.
Paddy: Yes of course. Here you go...
BC: Right… Herr Murphy… How may I help? Would you like a cushion?
Paddy: Sorry?
BC: Oh, I just thought... the frozen peas helped then?
Paddy: Can we just do the bank account?
BC: Of course sir. Right, you already have a current account with us
but your holiday funds pretty well put paid to that until payday. Hmmm...
Oh dear this IMF Account is all over the place and your
EUcard is at the limit. I see you've opted to pay the BBC television licence
a month late and your car is on its last legs. You don't look like a
very good risk to me, sir.
Paddy: Hang on. The IMF card has nothing to do with me. That's some
bloke buying DVD players in Cork.
BC: You seem to know an awful lot about him, Herr Murphy.
Paddy: But it's not me, the chap in the Post Office told me...
BC: Lets look at the biometrics... Yes you're right, it's not you...
Paddy: Thank goodness for the ID card eh?
BC: Indeed sir, and just as soon as you get the Capital One Card paid
off we will be glad to welcome you as a customer.
Paddy: But it wasn't me!
BC: No, but you seem to have known all about it since 09.43 this
morning and haven't bothered to notify your card issuer.
Paddy: Every bugger else seems to know about it; why didn't IMF cards do
something?
BC: Steady on Herr Murphy, there is the civil liberties angle. We can't just go
round invading an individual's privacy willy-nilly you know. Oh feck, I
see you've taken out travel insurance. It doesn't appear to cover you
for misuse of your IMF card. Would you like a quote for that?

Home, sweet home
[Doorbell rings]

Travelling salesman: Herr Murphy? I am Terry McGuinness the local
distributor for Anusol and...
TV licence enforcement: [Arriving behind the salesman] Herr Murphy, I'm
Sean Kenny of the TV licencing authority. Here's my ID card.
Euro Instant credit salesman: [Arriving behind TV licence enforcement] Our
records show that you're a bit strapped for cash at the moment. If you'd
just sign here I can offer you 5,000 euro right now at just 1,375,893
monthly repayments of euro 21.40.

MI-5 and the Anti Terrorist Squad: [Arriving behind instant credit salesman] Can we
have a word Herr Murphy? We gather that you lied this morning to a Post
Office operative about the period of time you spent in 1992 as a member
of Amnesty International the protectors of the soft underbelly and you have being posting scurrilous posts
about Astroturfing, bogtrotters and MI-5 censorship on Indymedia Ireland. I have to caution you that under section 12 of the...
Travelling Salesman: [Snatching card] Hold on, I was here first. You'll
all get a chance to swipe... Oh yes, Herr Murphy, those are clearing up
nicely. Now, do you want me to give you something for that pea allergy?

IRELAND STILL A DARK SEXUALLY PERVERTED BACKWARD BRITISH ISLAND

Unpixelated filth on Indymedia Ireland provokes proscription.The Irish Government has announced plans to ban Indymedia after the blog Sex Ireland displayed graphic scenes of its members engaged in a highly inappropriate group activity in Dublin. British members of Indymedia Ireland were pictured shamelessly protesting at Selfridges.

As soon as the Blog was published, the blog Sex Ireland was inundated with thousands of complaints. One caller’s views were typical: “I had just sat down in front of the computer with all of my family and suddenly the screen was filled with this massive prrick. I think he was from Indymedia ireland. There was no warning and he wasn’t even pixelated. My grandmother could have been watching, but thankfully she died several years ago.”

One of Indymedia Ireland's censors defended the event thus: “We live in a free society. If these people don’t want to watch one of our
demonstrations why don’t they just do the logical thing and switch to another blog. Haven’t they got anything better to do with their time than sit around complaining? Jaysus foc*king Chrrist!”

However, as the number of complaints about Sex Ireland climbed to over a million, a spokesperson for the Irish Censorship Board announced that it would be taking action after seeing a copy of Indymedia’s writer's list;“This document is utterly obscene. I’ve never seen anything like it, just pages and pages of can*ts and as for the committee, it’s just a collection of mother-foc*kers. I can’t see any justification for there being that number of can*ts in one place so we have no option but to recommend that the organisation be closed down.”

Last night, as the blog Sex Ireland logged its ten billionth complaint (from a tribesman in the Amazonian jungle) Mediawatch remained defiant. An upbeat Indymedia Ireland censor told Sex Ireland “We shall fight on. You cannot silence us. If I get my way we’re going to be on rte quite a lot in the next few weeks and in October we plan to open on Broadway. See you there!”

FASCIST DUCK RAPE AN INDY CENSOR'S SEX FOIE GRAS

Indymedia Ireland have in fact already banned and censored the Pink Panther, Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck !


Mighty Mouse, Batman and Popeye “not recommended”and Bugs Bunny comic books “doubtful”! 

On February 2nd at 4 a.m., Indymedia Ireland will run out of cyberspace and IP addresses to ban or censor in Ireland. At least that’s what an Internet service provider is forecasting, based on a rate of about one million addresses every four hours.Technically Indymedia Ireland's time is up, despite its efforts to leave the minimum number of Irish footprints on Cyberspace. According to one of the numerous native Irish users who have had ISP's banned by Indymedia ireland, they won't be missed,  " They  joined the Wankers Club years ago anyway" she said. We tried to interview them on the matter at their offices, just recently located after years of being a top Irish secret mystery. Such a secret in fact that many suspected for years that it was located beside the Thames. Unfortunately we could only interview them through their letter box using a loud speaker.

We interviewed one of their censors called Iris through the letter box, who apparently is and Indymedia Ireland censor and a cybespace conservationist, who when asked about astroturfing in Ireland, appeared to be prone to bouts of over-excitement. We can, however, only speculate as to what exactly it is about astroturfing, provoked her to suggest that most of the censored Indymedia Ireland articles on astroturfing campaigns on all of Ireland's bogs, would be much improved by supplements with titles such as "Water Sports: Golden sand, Golden sun, Golden shower".

Please readers, don't misunderstand Ireland, no people alive, enjoy water more then the Irish. Indeed so much so, that some usually shower seven or eight times on a non-soft day, more at weekends. And while I can fully appreciate the thrill that mounting a jet-ski like Iris does at Indymedia Ireland might give, as the beast between her  legs provokes a shattering, water-borne climax, I cannot fathom as to how it is connected with astroturfing issues raised, during the interview through Indymedia Ireland's office letterbox..

As we expressed my doubts to Iris through the lettebox, she became increasingly agitated. We had, she insisted, completely missed the point. The debate with Indymedia Ireland became increasingly acrimonious until, incredibly, a furious Iris pulled down her shorts and proceeded to urinate into an expensive Jasper Conran vase in their office, while another of Indy's censor apprentices lay on the floor licking his lips for abit of action.

I hardly need to add that Iris has been sent home pending psychiatric evaluation through a rear entrance. While we are prepared to admit a certain sympathy with some Indymedia people's love of the outdoor life, we must insist upon the following, Water sports are deadly in an Irish bog even for bogtrotters like Indymedia Ireland but then she was simply explaining Indymedia Ireland's activities and the possibilities of a golden shower while astro-skiing in a real Irish bog.

Meanwhile Hurricane Electric have launched Twitter and Facebook accounts that count down to what has been termed the “Indymedia Ireland IPcalypse.” Every device that is connected to the Internet gets a unique code called an IP address. The current system, IPv4, only supports about 4 billion individual IPv4 addresses. This obviously will mean a lot of work for Indymedia Ireland blocking and banning all of the numerous IP addresses censored in Ireland.

PC World’s Chris Head explained yesterday, some of these addresses are reusable. The problem, however, is that their one-time use counterparts, will eventually lead to the complete depletion of IP addresses and in Indymedia Ireland's case, cyberspace burnout and depletion. It is believed the editors at Indymedia are extremely disappointed, as they had hoped to surpass the record in Irish censorship, already set  by the Irish  Censorship of Publications Board, where Mighty Mouse, Batman and Popeye were “not recommended”and Bugs Bunny comic books were “doubtful”. Such was and still are the views of key members of censorship in Ireland, who continue to censor and ban ISP's of cartoon and freedom creators in Ireland. Indymedia Ireland have in fact already banned and censored the Pink Panther, Mickey Mouse and Donal Duck which were part of a treatise on cartoon production in Ireland.

Creative indigenous Irish artists censored by Indymedia Ireland, foresaw this problem long before Indymedia Ireland did and invented IPv6, a system that that uses both letters and digits to handle 340,282,366,920,938,463,463,374,607,431,768,211,456 addresses, so Indymedia Ireland will have a lot of censorship work on their hands for the near future bearing in mind the mirrors and proxy's used by groups such as Wikileaks.

Hurricane Electric’s doomsday encourages native Irish Internet service providers to transition to that system. Fortunately  IPv4 and IPv6 can co-exist during the transition despite being mostly incompatible. Developers are working on the transition and most operating systems install IPv6 by default. Many Irish writers still have some canned food and bottled water stacked up in case of a feared total blackout censorship of all writers in Ireland, so we should be OK either way, even if Indymedia Ireland ban all native Irish writers who are not part of their fascist collective, styled on the national socialist values of Paul Joseph Goebbels .

Gateway 303: Police Disinformation on Indymedia

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Search words: DUCK Topless Beauties Ask Selfridges to ‘Have a Heart’ and Drop Foie Gras  international | animal rights | news report  Thursday February 12, 2009 21:25 by John Carmody irishveganboy at hotmail dot com 0879601177  Love it or Hate it - Nudity Gets Attention, for Animals! Braving the cold this afternoon, five sexy PETA activists stripped off nearly naked and urged foie gras-peddling Selfridges to ‘Have a Heart’ for DUCKs and geese this Valentine’s Day. The topless girls (including model Monica Harris) and one dishy guy handed out delicious vegan chocolates and roses to passers-by who just couldn’t help but stare – and take photos on their mobile phones, of course! Selfridges continues to sell foie gras, despite the fact that competitor House of Fraser and no supermarket in the UK will stock the “fatty liver”. In the production of this diseased product, a mixture of up to 4 pounds of grain, maize and fat is pumped into the stomachs of DUCKs and geese through a pipe several times a day. That’s like cramming 45 pounds of pasta down our own throats each day. Ouch. Needless to say, this makes the birds extremely ill and many are unable to move. In fact, death rates during force-feeding are as much as 1,000 to 2,000 per cent greater than normal!